We are well into our second week of this series now. As I write, it is late November and the series has not yet started. Its positive to be scheduling the 10th post before the series has even get going, given how many people usually wait until the first week is over before beginning to write theirs. When are you writing yours?
Today at home I’m running two workshops for people studying HR/L&D qualifications. The morning workshop is focusing on trends shaping the world of work – such as wellbeing, and AI. The afternoon workshop is looking at talent attraction and acquisition, and how organisations position themselves in the labour market. This is to different groups of people, and its an ongoing programme which I enjoy delivering. Later tonight we are going to a Christmas Lights trail at nearby Dunham Massey, which is an annual trip for us and one of our most loved Christmas trips.
Today’s post is from Debbie Blanchard, returning to the series. You can find her on LinkedIn, and on Bluesky (@debblanch44). Debbie is the Head of Profession for Product Management at the Department for Education, and a proud civil servant. She is passionate about making things better, and a massive believer in community building. We’ve not met, but have interacted on social media for a while.
Over to Debbie:
There’s so much that this phrase conjures up! I’m sure it’s in a musical. It should be in Titanic. I know it’s something that I feel.
I come across as someone who is loud, confident, and able to come to with most things with… well, not with grace, but with a certain élan. Someone who is happy to pull people together and happy to get up and represent.
Scratch a little deeper and you get to my inner geek – who won’t have prepped for something things but will have over prepped for others; who really wants to get stuff done; and who gets through things fuelled by relentless optimism, a healthy dose of sarcasm and a musical theatre soundtrack.
And you may have seen me get to the point where I’ve had enough of people, and my introvert self really need to retreat to a safe, quiet space.
But not many people hear, “I don’t want to go”. Do you know what, most times I don’t.
When my imposter syndrome was really bad I would cry on the way to the office. And I would stand outside the door, and take big deep breaths before I could put on my mask for the day. Most of the time it worked. All of the time it took work.
And yet, being there was the right thing to do. Not wanting to go and not going are not the same thing.
So I’ve made deals with myself. To reframe. I acknowledge that I don’t want to go and I make deals with myself – go for an hour, go and skip dessert, just go for the first half. Go, and try it. Just go. Face it. What’s the worst that could happen.
I don’t want to go. But I should go.
I still carry that imposter. But I’m not afraid anymore.
I’m glad Debbie has returned to the series. She seemed immediately inspired by this year’s theme and I like what she has produced.
She is not the only person so far to have talked about Imposter Syndrome and its impact on individuals. Her post resonated with me as it describes how I act and behave sometimes. If you’ve seen me speak on stage, or been in one of my workshops, you would imagine I’m a high extrovert and full of life and confidence. I’m not – I can do those things, but it takes a lot of preparation and energy, and necessitates sitting quietly for a long time afterwards. Sometimes the image we project of ourselves – consciously or not – can mask our true feelings, and Debbie is right to point out that we often have to compromise with ourselves in order to make the most of a situation. I’ve done that too. Just recently I was invited for a few drinks followed by a meal with some old work colleagues, and didn’t want to go. I made myself a deal that I’d go for the drinks but leave before the meal, and that ended up being the right decision – I felt more able to go and more confident when I was there.
What deals do you make with yourself in order to make the most of a situation?
Till next time…
Gary
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